I'm HOW Old and I Still Don't Have My Shit Together!?

It's a common belief that the youngest child has the easiest life. Though that may be mostly true in the beginning, after some time the easiness wears off and everything starts to suck. It could be worse, yes, and I'm grateful it's not. So there is no other word for it. This just sucks.

I have never really been taught anything as far as basic skills and knowledge that adults need and should know by the time they are living on their own. Skills like writing a check, driving a car, changing the oil and tires on a car, using a weed eater or any sort of lawn maintenance, cooking, sewing, and several other basic things my friends seemed to have learned from parents and other relatives and friends.

I scraped by in high school, taking the easiest classes, and dicked around in college skipping classes, learning nothing. Purposely only applied to entry level jobs that I could walk to from my apartment instead of learning to drive and saving up for a car. Letting others make my decisions for me and never once thinking, "Hmm, I should really learn to take care of myself." Apartment hopping kept me from yard work and basic maintenance, walking everywhere kept me from learning to drive or take care of a car, and always eating at the restaurant I worked at, skipping meals, and living off of the microwave kept me from learning to cook. I have successfully weaseled my way out of every major and optional life lesson.

So, what's a pitiful, youngest of four, broke bitch with the world's worst luck supposed to do? Self teach through trial and error and ask as many annoying questions as possible along the way, of course. If there's a dumb question with an obvious answer you bet your ass I'll ask it because I have no damn clue what I'm doing.

And now is the perfect time for all of this  anyway because I finally live in an actual house as an adult with two men that are willing to eat my experimental cooking and answer all of my questions, no matter how many or how dumb, because they know I will purposely annoy the shit out of them if they don't. The yard is small and won't be an overkill to learn basic yard maintenance on and I'm technically the only one healthy enough to tackle it.

I invite you to come witness my misadventures as I teach myself to cook and use various amounts of machinery and figure out this strange thing called adulthood that seriously needs to come with a handbook. We'll laugh, we'll cry, we'll sit around with puzzled looks on our faces and long for the days when all we had to worry about was making sure we didn't put our underwear on inside-out. Seriously, the ones I have on right now are  inside-out, and they're my fiance's. The fuck am I even doing?

-Tome Raider

                                                           *I have no idea what I'm doing*